Every man wants to be more likable, but nowadays with the isolation that technology (and social distancing) has impacted us with, it’s becoming rarer and rarer for guys to be put into actual face-to-face social situations. This, in turn, makes it more difficult to practice the skills required to be a personable and likable guy.
Fortunately, being personable and likable is something that can be learned and practiced! If you’ve ever been in an awkward social situation, you likely have noticed that an interaction with a person can be shifted in a positive or negative way based on a few key things. Some of these things include your words, attitude, and body language.
So, with that being said, let’s look at 5 key things that can help you become a more likable man in any social situation!
Here are 5 tips on how to be a more likable man:
- Remember (and use) People’s Names
- Ask About Others More Than You Talk About Yourself
- Avoid Being Judgmental
- Mirror A Person’s Body Language
- Be Unapologetically You
Before we begin, check out this awesome video on the same exact topic! And remember to subscribe to the Volt Youtube Channel for more awesome content!
1. Remember (And Use) People’s Names
People like to feel remembered and respected, and there’s no better way to do that than to use somebody’s name naturally throughout a conversation or when you happen to see them again.
Try and think of a point in your life where you may have met someone briefly, but they remembered your name afterward and called you that upon the next time meeting them. It probably made you feel good to know you made enough of a lasting impression that they took the time to remember and recall your name.
Make sure to use somebody’s name naturally in a conversation and not after every word, otherwise, it comes across as forced and not as genuine as it should be. When you are meeting people and getting their names for the first time, really take the time to cement the name into your memory by repeating it in your head for a few seconds. The brain best remembers things that are repeated because those things are deemed more important.
2. Ask About Others More Than You Talk About Yourself
The guy who asks questions more often than they speak about themselves is the guy everyone wants to be around. This is because it demonstrates genuine interest and care for the happenings of someone else’s life as well as a sense of selflessness that accompanies people who don’t openly try to communicate what is happening in their own lives.
Think about it this way. If you were on a date, and your date never asked you any questions about yourself, but instead, keeps telling you about themselves, what does that say to you? It’s a constant reminder that your date is less interested in you, and more focused on themselves. This is a good example of classic narcissism.
When people want to be cared for, they want others to show interest in them, and the best way to do that is to ask questions. Keep in mind that you are still entitled to an opinion, which you may or may not want to share, and also that you are more than welcome to express your opinion in small informative steps between asking questions. This just ensures that you appear confident in your own voice and keeps you from entering “interrogator” mode!
3. Avoid Being Judgmental
The number one way to turn people away from you is to judge them. Being judgmental is not a pleasant characteristic in anybody. Although you are entitled to your opinion, you must keep in mind that other people are entitled to their own opinion as well! This is just called being open-minded.
When you ask someone a question, and then make them feel judged for their answer by belittling them, calling them wrong, or otherwise acting like you are superior in your own opinion, what you are doing is displaying a sense of self-righteousness and ego that is immediately unattractive.
People enjoy others who are easy-going, confident, and carefree with other people. In other words, you should be so comfortable with yourself and your values that you shouldn’t feel the need to convert others to your perspective if they had a separate opinion. Ask yourself, would you rather be in the company of a person who always put you down for your opinion or someone who fully accepted you for who you were?
4. Mirror A Person’s Body Language
Body language is effective, there’s no doubt about it. But because body language is all non-verbal, and often has more subconscious effects than noticeable ones, it’s difficult to tell why mirroring body language is so important to becoming a more personable and likable guy.
Mirroring body language is all about demonstrating a shared empathy with another person. When someone feels like you have empathy, the trust and connection between the two of you flourish because you communicate non-verbally that you are in tune with each other’s feelings and thoughts. Almost as if you were connected in some way to each other.
On the opposite side of the spectrum is someone who closes off their body language and appears unapproachable, unconfident, and overall unattractive. You can be sure to avoid coming across as all these negative things by using open body language. Open body language means keeping your hands out of your pockets, keeping your arms uncrossed, head up, shoulders back, and displaying comfort being yourself without trying to appear small or closed off.
Overall, by mirroring a person’s body language, you are telling them that you two are connected in some way through non-verbal cues. This increases the trust between you and overall benefits your likability in whatever social situation you’re in.
5. Be Unapologetically You
The last and final tip may be the most controversial, but also the most important. You may be wondering why I’d be giving you all these new tips to try if you just had to be yourself in the first place. Well, if there’s any rift between the outcomes you receive and the outcomes you actually want in any social situation, then these tips can absolutely help. But when it comes to being genuine and honest, being yourself is the best way to go.
By being unapologetically you, what you are doing is living without shame. You are more willing to be vulnerable to those around you because you feel no reason to prove anything to others, or even to yourself. This dissolves away your ego in the minds of others and immediately makes you far and away more relatable and likable in any social situation.
Think about it this way, the guy who gets angry when people don’t agree with everything he says is the guy who has the largest (and ironically the most fragile) ego. This guy feels the need for everyone to feel or think the way he does because he feels he must constantly be unchallenged, and always right about everything. This guy won’t admit when he is wrong, is the first to try and disprove others, and is going to feel like he can’t display any weakness. And he is ALWAYS disliked by people around him.
On the other hand, the guy who is unapologetically himself has his emotions under control. Not because he doesn’t have emotions, but because knows that despite what others think about him, he’ll be perfectly fine and happy with his life. He displays comfort to others by being open-minded and doesn’t feel the need to challenge people’s opinions for trivial reasons. And because of all of these things, he finds that he connects with people because people enjoy the company of a confident and comfortable person, all because he was just himself and honest from the get-go.
Overall, being likable is not a one-step journey. As you’ve probably just noticed, all of these things can be connected and compound on each other as long as you are willing to try being social and likable in the first place. The best thing you can do to be a more likable guy is to drop your ego and be willing to be vulnerable and more open to people in the first place without expectations or judgment of any kind.
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